The author of the most well-known relationship book of all time returns with an updated guide for today’s generation. Anna has taken her time to review it for this month’s Shiny Book Club.

Cal told me about this book before Christmas. I downloaded it before departing on holidays – the “Ever-optimising German-me”, who wants to listen to business books while being driven around on holidays in Costa Rica while the rest of the family is listening to music and audiobooks thanks to Audible (which I love, especially if I can’t sleep).

The book claims to bring your relationship to the next level and this is true in terms of understanding the different ways of men and women dealing with stress and what each of us need to find our equilibrium.

I love the fact that women need to increase their oestrogen levels to relief stress which means chatting to girlfriends, massage, hairdresser, homemaking, cooking and taking care of kids or dogs (kids are good for working women).

Men need to increase their testosterone to chill, so watching rugby, going shooting, pub banter with other alpha-males, mowing the lawn all need to happen for hubby to calm down after a long day of work.

There is also a lot of detail around communication and being more direct with your partner – I signal now that I DON’T want a solution but I want him to listen (men being prone to problem-solving at any given moment) until I stop venting.

I use my knowledge with the kids, being a bit more understanding around my daughter wanting to bake cookies with me after school whereas my son wants to play one game or watch an episode on TV to relax before chatting.

Sorry John, but your voice can be a bit annoying after 10 chapters and there is value in having some of the examples on paper, so I recommend the book as much as the audiobook. Have fun discovering more of your inborn needs. It is a worthwhile and fascinating exploration.